5 Confessions of a Successful CopyMom
“Mommy look!” chimes the cutest voice from my office door,
And in walks my six year old, bearing a finger-painted gift. She holds it out hopefully like an offering: my painting for your attention.
The gears in my brain squeal with the effort of braking, switching out of business mode and saying, in my best ‘praise the effort not the result’ voice, “That’s great, sweetie. I love how you mixed those colors together. Tell me about it…”
We chat for a few minutes and then I gently remind her “Remember how I told you that I have to work this afternoon? Daddy is taking care of you now.”
“I know” she says. “but I just wanted to show you my painting.” She leaves, looking a little dejected, considerately closing the door. My brain trudges back into copywriting mode, weighted down by the fact that I now feel like a crappy mother.
A lot of people make it sound like working from home is the perfect solution to the motherhood-work-life juggling act. And it definitely has its advantages. But there’s a reality that’s far (far!) away from the ideal of ‘mom conveniently working while her kids are in childcare, then welcoming them home with freshly baked (gluten free) cookies.’
Most days feel like a tug of war – with me as the rope – work pulling at one end and kids at the other.
Here’s the truth that they don’t show you in those rosy Facebook posts and Instagram pictures:
Confession – I might, probably, maybe, work too much
I enjoy what I do. I suppose you might call me a workaholic. And when the computer is always on, it’s tempting to duck out while the kids are playing and write just a few more lines of an email, or spend the time after they go to bed catching up on work. I do my best to give my clients 100%, just like I do my best to give my kids 100%…but it’s sometimes hard to find a balance and set boundaries. Even when I was confined to bed rest in my ninth month of pregnancy, I wrote a multi-million-dollar product launch laying on my side with a laptop (But that’s a story for another day).
Tip from the trenches: According to research, most people do their best work early in the day, so start with the most challenging tasks first and schedule less demanding meetings, research and emails for later.
Confession – My Kids Sometimes Think I Love Work More
Kids find it hard to comprehend that “mommy is working now” when you’re in the next room separated only by a door. They don’t understand why they can’t just wander in to ask you a question, show you their Plasticine creation, or gaze at you with a puppy-eyed, heart-wrenching plea for attention.
Tip from the trenches: To get work done, you have to adopt a single-minded approach. This includes kicking them (gently) out of your office, wearing noise-deadening earphones, locking your office door, and working outside the home when they’re on vacation. These business survival tactics come with a large side order of mom-guilt, abated only by spending large amounts of quality time (and/or money) with them when your project is finished.
Confession – Clients Who Don’t Have Kids Won’t Get It
I took my ten month old (and her grandma, who came along to help out) to an industry conference. While Grandma napped off some jet lag, I strapped baby into her carrier and went to mingle. My client, who has two young children, was cool with the set-up. But everyone else?
Wouldn’t even make eye contact.
It was pretty disappointing, especially since I thought “Hey, what a cute baby” would be a great ice-breaker.
Tip from the trenches: You don’t need to be apologetic for occasionally having kids interrupt your work or tag along. Remember, your client didn’t hire you because you’re a parent or not a parent, but because you’re good at what you do and get the work done on time.
Confession – You Need to be Single-Minded
I pop out of my home office to pee, and bump into a mound of laundry. ‘I’ll just stick that in the washer,” I say to myself. Thirty minutes later, the dishes are washed, the garbage can emptied, and some toys thrown in the general direction of the toy bins, and my bladder reminds me that I really just got up for a minute to pee. Then the neighbor comes to borrow some ketchup, the delivery man arrives and my thoughtful hubby comes home with a deli sandwich hoping to score a quick lunch together. Agghh! No wonder shared work spaces are all the rage!
Tip from the trenches: I like the Pomodoro Technique, which structures work into twenty-five minute sessions, separated by a five minute break (use a timer or app). After four sessions, take a longer break of 20 minutes (now’s the time to do your laundry). According to research, this technique enhances focus and productivity as well as giving your body a chance to stretch.
Get my SURVIVAL TACTICS FOR THE WORK AT HOME COPYMOM checklist here.
Confession – I Love That I Rock This
So hey. What’s the problem with a few distractions, long hours, and extra mom guilt when you are spared the stressful commute and the effort it takes to dress up? Not to mention the huge bonuses of freedom, flexibility and independence!?
I own my day (cool) and that makes everything worth it. So I do allow myself to sleep in while my husband drops the kids at daycare, hit the gym in the mornings (but less than I should), and get to take my daughters to speech therapy, ceramics workshops, and soccer practice. This summer we’ll be touring Scotland for a whole month. That’s a dream come true made possible by my work.
Tip from the trenches: Use the flexibility to exploit off-peak hours in malls and supermarkets, sparing yourself the weekend crowds and invest time saved in yourself and your family.
So, will I continue to drink too much coffee and feel a pang of regret every time I have to hustle my kids from my office?
YES.
But will I feel the satisfaction of knowing I can show up for parent teacher conferences ANY time of day, and also feel the rewards of knowing I’m showing up for my clients when they need me?
Absolutely.